The short version
Two or three rough weeks in September with a return to baseline is an adjustment. Teacher calls more than once, escalating aggression, or your own sense that you are out of moves is worth a call.
Before anything else: halve the number of directions, make them statements rather than questions, and give five minutes a day of undivided, agenda-free attention.
For children roughly 2.5 to 7, PCIT coaches you live while you play. Through FamilyFirst it may be available at no cost.
September is when it shows up
Summer is loose. Bedtimes drift, days have no bells in them, and nobody asks a four-year-old to sit still for twenty minutes. Then school starts and the demands triple in a week.
What parents see: a child who has to be asked six times, who falls apart at drop-off, who was fine in July. What is usually happening: a young nervous system that has not yet built the skill the new routine is demanding, running on less sleep than it needs.
Some of this settles on its own by mid-October. Some of it does not, and the difference matters.
What is normal and what is worth a call
Two or three rough weeks with a return to baseline is an adjustment. Ask a different question if you are seeing:
- Behavior that has escalated past what your usual parenting handles
- Notes or calls from the teacher more than once
- Aggression toward siblings, peers, or you
- Meltdowns that last far longer than they used to, or come out of nowhere
- A relationship at home that has started to feel like a standoff most days
- Your own sense that you are out of moves
That last one counts. Parents usually know before a professional does.
Is this an adjustment or something more?
| Usually an adjustment | Worth a call | |
|---|---|---|
| How long | Two or three weeks, then it settles | Six weeks in and no better, or getting worse |
| Where it shows up | Mostly at home, mostly at transitions | Home and school and with peers |
| School contact | One conversation at pickup | Repeated calls or notes, or a meeting requested |
| Intensity | Big feelings that pass with support | Meltdowns far longer than they used to be, or out of nowhere |
| Aggression | Occasional, and they can be redirected | Regular hitting, biting or throwing at people |
| Your read on it | Tiring, but you know what to do | You have run out of things to try |
The last row counts as much as the rest. Parents usually know before a professional does.
Three things that help before you call anyone
1. Cut the number of directions in half
Most young children are given far more instructions in a morning than they can process. Decide which ones actually matter before school, drop the rest for two weeks, and give the ones that remain one at a time.
2. Make directions statements, not questions
“Can you put your shoes on?” invites a no. “Put your shoes on, please” does not. It sounds small. In a house with thirty commands a morning, it is not small.
3. Give five minutes of undivided attention that has no agenda
Not a lesson, not a correction, not your phone in your other hand. Let the child lead the play and describe what they are doing. Five minutes a day changes how the other twelve hours go, and it is the single most consistent finding in the parenting research.
When the pattern will not shift, live coaching does something different
Most parenting help is advice. You get the advice in an office, then you go home and try to remember it at 7:15 on a Tuesday while everyone is late.
Parent-Child Interaction Therapy works the other way around. You and your child are in the room together, playing. The therapist watches through a one-way mirror or a screen and coaches you live through an earpiece, in the moment the behavior happens. You are not being told what to do next week. You are being coached through it now.
PCIT runs in two phases. Child-Directed Interaction builds the relationship and increases the behavior you want through play. Parent-Directed Interaction teaches you to give clear directions and follow through consistently. It is designed for children roughly two and a half to seven years old, and it targets the daily pattern between you and your child rather than the child’s behavior in isolation.
Who provides PCIT here
At Empowered Mental Health in Bismarck, PCIT is provided by Talia Biederstedt, LCSW, who is certified through PCIT International, and Mariah Banse, LCSW, who is a FamilyFirst Title IV-E PCIT provider and is completing her certification through PCIT International.
If your child is older than seven, PCIT is not the right fit, and that is worth knowing before you call. Start with therapy for children or family therapy instead.
The honest version
Most children who struggle in September are not in trouble. They are young, tired, and adjusting. A handful are telling you something that will not resolve on its own, and those families do better when they call in October than when they call in March.
If you are not sure which one you have, that is a reasonable thing to spend one appointment finding out.
North Dakota Health and Human Services, HHS expands access to Parent-Child Interaction Therapy through telehealth, May 12, 2026.
PCIT International, PCIT FAQs.
Ready when you are.
Taking the first step is often the hardest part. A short conversation, at no charge, is usually enough to know whether we are a fit. In person in Bismarck, or by telehealth anywhere in North Dakota.
Book a free 15-minute consultCall (701) 805-1939